MDRails is largely a byproduct of eldercare. A few years ago my mother became very sick, requiring almost constant attention. I had to choose between putting my life on hold to look after her, or admitting her to a nursing home. I chose the former. Though she has improved dramatically, she still needs somebody nearby which presented me with some extra, though restricted, time on my hands. "Caregivers" as we've come to be known, can have a hard time of it. Poverty, isolation, cabin fever, and poor health are often endemic problems in the caregiver's world. I decided to find an activity that I liked doing that could also include my mom - one that wasn't very expensive. Since she likes going for drives and I like railroads, riding around taking pictures of trains seemed like a good plan. It turned out to be a great plan, but not without its challenges. Below is a list of things I've found to be helpful when traveling with older friends and relatives.
Time: A four hour trip, or less, works well for us. Don't wear out your elder!
Variety: Always take the scenic route, especially when spring flowers and fall foliage are abundant.
Facilities: Take a bathroom break at least every two hours, even if your elder says he/she doesn't have "to go", it may be because they don't want to inconvenience you. Older people can be very fearful about being a burden.
Food: Take some snacks, especially drinks, dehydration is a constant enemy. If you eat out, a very good idea as it adds some variety to your excursion, avoid places that only have spicy or raw food. Many restaurants these days have terrible hygiene standards making them especially hazardous for the elderly. We have never had a problem with the Waffle House or Chick-fil-A.
Tourist Lines & Museums: Locations such as these allow your elder to mingle with other people, especially children. Other good spots are historical societies and designated train watching areas, such as Folkston, Georgia.
Emergencies: Always take extra medication, wipes, a cell phone, a first aid kit, and some toilet paper. Doing so will go a long way towards making your excursion a pleasant one.
Togetherness: Do not leave your elder in the car to go tramping through the underbrush for long periods of time. You can do that when you're out by yourself. The idea is togetherness, not more lonely isolation.
Weather: Take an extra wrap along for your elder, no matter what time of year it is. Be mindful of your car's heat and AC. In the winter, be extremely careful about ice. Be careful about sunburn and heat exhaustion as well. Watch for trip hazards.
Insistent: These days mom almost always likes to go out for a ride, but not always, if she isn't in the mood, I don't push it.
Repetition: Sometimes your elder will tell you the same story twice over, sometimes 20 times over. This can be annoying, but they aren't aware that they are repeating themselves. If you chide your elder for being monotonous, it will only make things worse for the both of you. Try changing the subject by asking a question about a different aspect of your elder's life or pointing out something interesting along the way.
Task: Allow your elder to help out. Instead of jamming a lens in your dusty pocket, ask your elder to hold it while you change lenses. Mom has never dropped a lens.
Hopes: Try not to schedule an outing with your elder only to cancel out later on. Getting out of the house can mean a lot to your elder, often more than they let on.
Sanity: As a caregiver you need to get out too. Don't become a recluse. Sometimes you'll need to get out by yourself as well. Try asking a friend to look after your elder so that you can do some things on your own. If all else fails, check with your local department of aging to see if they offer or can direct you to some good respite care. Then try not to worry or feel guilty while you're out!
